


butterfly riot

by chogiwarned



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: (not so), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Confession, Cuddles, First Kiss, Fluff, Lip Balm, Lowercase, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Soz, Unrequited Love, also, anyway, cuz im lazy, i think this is the term, mainly hyun & jeong, oh there's a tag for this, the others are there for a split second - Freeform, this is WAY ANGSTIER than planned, this is an important tag, which is rushed, whipped boyz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 21:03:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16145462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chogiwarned/pseuds/chogiwarned
Summary: jeongin's in love and thinks his crush loves someone else. spoiler: he's wrong





	butterfly riot

**Author's Note:**

> HI THERE so first straykisses my dude  
> im: sorry cuz i dont think i did what you wanted  
> i mean i went really wild with this plot & in the end its really jeongin-centric idk  
> anyway i hope you'll like it (you as in _vous_ , i hope everyone will like it lmao)  
> it's longer & angstier than planned but well  
> (also: im too dramatic)(and i didn't even re-read this work so)

jeongin’s never been really good with words. he doesn’t know how to express how he feels like the other members ; chan, for examples, writes songs that give goosebumps. changbin, on the other hand, is so powerful with his lyrics that jeongin just… brainlags. and jisung, _jisung_ is artistic.  
jeongin, however, can’t speak for shit. he sometimes struggles just as much as felix, without the sweet justification that he comes from another country.

this problem wasn’t a problem, until he met hyunjin. not only because he turned into a stuttery, furiously blushing mess the second their eyes crossed, but mainly because since then, he hasn’t been able to tell him how he feels. because, the thing is, jeongin feels quite a lot of things. he felt awful when minho got eliminated. he felt even worse when it’d been felix’s turn. he felt glorious when they came back. all those feelings just bloom inside his chest and tighten it and he’s choking but there’s no _word_ that points it out, no expression that could lift some of the weight on his ribcage.

and hyunjin… hyunjin is the main reason jeongin has these breathing issues. hyunjin is, long story short, breathtaking. he’s all soft, plump lips and sweet nothings whispered in one’s ear. he’s the kind of guy that wants to prove himself, to go on stage and yell “i’m not just a pretty face!”. the kind that doesn’t want to be a doll, but to assert his skills. and boy, is he talented.

jeongin has always felt so little next to him. he’s just a random, braced-teeth boy shrinking besides the epitome of perfection and, somehow, it made him kind of jealous at first. but then, hyunjin was soft. he remembers one night, when they were both cuddled up in a bundle of blankets, hyunjin just murmured a few words in the dead of night, and it shook jeongin to the core.  
“you know, jeonginnie, i’m jealous of you. you’re so beautiful and skillful, it makes me mad.”

that night, jeongin didn’t get a blink of sleep but rather spent the night combing his fingers through hyunjin’s hair, whispering praises against his earlobe. that’s when he realised how he felt for the older boy, how the tip of his fingers buzzed with giddiness and his insides churned. it felt like a butterfly riot.

but then again, jeongin was a man of few words. he liked to think of himself as rather expressive in the way his hands moved, in the way his entire being gyrated around hyunjin and he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of him.

“jeongin, you’re drooling.”  
jisung have always had the right word, the one that could make you smile on your worst day but also punch you in the stomach when you’re floating on cloud 9. jeongin, all knitted eyebrows and a hand wiping at his mouth, lets out a frustrated groan. “am not.” a smirk twists the rapper’s lips and he _purrs_ , he fucking purrs in jeongin’s ear, trapping him between soft and encouraging limbs. “you totally are. you’ve been staring at hyunjin for, like, ever. i can’t quite tell if you want to punch him or kiss him, actually.”

thrashing for his freedom out of jisung’s arms, he misses the way hyunjin’s behaviour changes, at the other end of the practice room. while jisung pouts his lips, trying hard to kiss jeongin, hyunjin misses the beat and almost trips, barely saved by minho’s reflexes.  
“hyunjin, are you okay? what happened?” there’s a hint of panic in minho’s eyes, but also pure, inhibited concern -- that turns into half a smile when he notices jisung and jeongin messing around in an inform mass of tangled limbs. “oh, i see.” dusting off the younger’s shirt, he purses his lips and holds in a laugh when hyunjin’s ears turn red. “shut up hyung, you don’t see anything. i got distracted, that’s all.”

humming in mock approval, minho just presses a button and the music starts over. but, despite his efforts, hyunjin can’t stop himself from looking over jeongin, feeling a sharp pang of jealousy cursing through his veins every time jisung manages to kiss the boy. minho, in all his faked empathy, stops the music and gestures for hyunjin to go and collect his man. he, on the other hand, grabs jisung by the arm and drags him in another corner to cuddle with him; there’s little protestation (something like “ew hyung, you’re all sweaty!”), that goes unnoticed.

hyunjin, sweaty himself and feeling kind of gross, plops on the floor next to jeongin and shoots him a smile, trying to get his bangs out of his face. “hi”, he sighs, soon letting himself fall on the younger’s lap. “pet my hair.” it’s a sweet command and jeongin complies without a word, a soft smile hanging on his braces-bitten lips. but then, hyunjin gets bold.  
it starts off really discreet and innocent, a hand locking jeongin’s one in a tight embrace -- preventing him from swatting his fingers off. it goes on with hyunjin’s free hand that, out of nowhere, cups jeongin’s chin. then it’s all of hyunjin that straightens up, face-levelled with the already panicking boy.

and the culprit -- the culprit is a lone thumb, swift and precise, prodding at his lower lip. jeongin’s eyes widen at the touch, watching intently as hyunjin’s eyebrows furrow. there’s a lot of disapproval in his countenance and jeongin doesn’t like it, holding his breath and wondering if his heart is going to burst out of his chest. it’s quite likely to happen, what with the erratic rythm it’s been furiously beating on. “hyun-” that’s it. that’s all he can say because hyunjin cuts him with his forefinger and starts talking himself.

“your lips are really chapped. you bite them, don’t you?” it feels like being scolded by his older brother, at last. jeongin’s ribcage shrinks at the thought, a bitter taste filling up his mouth. he nods weakly, setting his eyes on the ground past hyunjin. great mistake, because hyunjin makes the most of that inattention. “here, let me.” and there’s a sticky sensation that covers his lips when the thumb attacks again, the moist sound of lip balm sending shudders down jeongin’s spine. he doesn’t say anything and lets hyunjin coating his mouth with his own peach-scented lip balm, simply enjoying the proximity and taking in hyunjin’s cologne. he kind of wants to nuzzle his neck.

when hyunjin’s done, he doesn’t retreat as jeongin would’ve thought. instead he just silently stares at his lips and it feels so intimate and there’s a hundred problems inside jeongin’s stomach but then it’s nice, until chan barges in and breaks the tension and suddenly hyunjin is a solid foot away and jeongin can breathe again.

they don’t talk about it. they never talk about it -- they never talked about the little touches that linger a tad too much, or about the cheek kisses that were just a little bit too close to the other’s lips, or about the shared smiles and deep conversation with the lights off and the moon as their sole witness.

jeongin doesn’t say anything, he seems so okay with it. but then there’s seungmin. seungmin that is always near hyunjin, that has his hands on him and seems to make him so happy that, in a painfully realistic way, jeongin feels like a thirdwheel when he’s with them. he caught them one evening, whispering and giggling about silly things. it looked so much like a couple -- it broke something inside the boy.

somehow, it weighs on jeongin’s shoulders. it’s like an invisible burden, a lump in his throat that makes everything taste dull and kind of boring. then the days start to merge with each other and jeongin thinks he just wants to sleep the sadness away -- it’s such a soft sadness, barely there and still it’s sharp on the edges and he cuts himself everytime he tries to break it.

“jeongin, you can’t go on like this.” there’s concern and a hand on his back and there’s woojin’s face so close to his; there’s a hug full of softness, reassuring and somehow understanding. he tastes salt on his tongue, and he doesn’t know if it’s because he misses busan’s beaches or if it’s from the tears. “i know, it’s okay.” it’s a lie and woojin knows, but then how could he lie and cry at the same time?

he’s been avoiding hyunjin for a week and a half now. there’s something hollow in his chest, as if his body was physically requesting for him to run to hyunjin; he doesn’t. he just keeps on burying his feelings and when it’s too much he slides in woojin’s bed, holds jisung’s hand or hides his face in chan’s neck. it becomes an unhealthy routine, looking everywhere but at hyunjin, touching everyone but hyunjin. it hurts, at some point.

that’s when hyunjin decides he’s had enough.

it’s a soft day deep in spring with blossoming flowers and the taste of summer on the tip of their tongue. a few days before their debut, just between two promotions that suck the life out of each and every member. they’re all stressed and on edge and hyunjin just barges in jeongin’s room and looks all kinds of bothered, eyes watery and teeth scraping against his full lips.  
“jeongin, i can’t do this anymore. you have to tell me what’s bothering you.” it’s rushed and filled with nervousness and jeongin’s choking again, there’s no air that gets past his mouth and he bites his lips too, whispering a “nothing is bothering me” while staring at the floor.

so hyunjin kneels before him and takes his hand and the gesture feels so right that tears pool in jeongin’s eyes, shoulders shaking in held sobs. “jeongin, please.” and there’s a sharp feeling on the tip of jeongin’s tongue, that spills as soon as he parts his lips. “you should check if seungmin is okay. he seemed nervous.” it’s bitter and half-muttered and hyunjin sees red. “why would i check on seungmin when i’m trying to get you back? jeongin please, tell me what’s wrong. tell me what i’ve done to make us this way.”

he’s so precise with his words that it infuriates jeongin and suddenly he’s standing up and the tears run on his cheeks. salt invades his mouth and he misses home, he misses the times where it was so simple. “there’s no ‘us’, hyunjin, you know that. just as much as you know that i’m in love with you, and you’re in love with him and i don’t even care because i didn’t even hope you woul-” it seems like hyunjin has adopted such a bad habit, cutting jeongin off when he tries to express how he feels. this time it’s not a thumb or a forefinger but it’s so much softer and angrier at the same time, lips pressing against the younger’s mouth to shut him up.

it takes a second or two for jeongin to process the whole situation, but as soon as it settles in his mind his hands fly, circling hyunjin’s nape and tangling themselves in his hair to get him closer, closer and even closer. their kiss is messy and there’s too much teeth, his braces get in the way when hyunjin tries to lick inside his mouth but jeongin’s glad because, _hell_ , he wasn’t ready for the fireworks sprinkling in his stomach with tongue to tongue contact.

“why didn’t you say sooner?” it’s whispered against jeongin’s lips and it sounds pained and part of him fears that it’s because his braces cut hyunjin’s mouth but then his fingers dig painfully in his hips and he gets the message, he realizes it’s not his teeth that hurt hyunjin, but his words. or, rather, lack of. “i… i thought you liked seungmin.”

they talk it out, somehow. hyunjin confessing that he felt lost at some point -- it took jeongin running away for him to decipher his feelings. it makes the pain worth it all, when he cuddles up on hyunjin’s chest and lets his heartbeat soothe him to sleep. there’s this lingering feeling that he just found the missing piece, as hyunjin traps his fingers between his own and whispers how much he missed having jeongin in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> !!!!!!  
>  i really suck at finding ideas so if you have any prompt (id take any ship in stray kids) do not hesitate my friends  
> hmu in the comments orrrrr on twitter  
> my id is @lixsfrecks but im too fucking lazy to be active + im french so i generally whine in french lmao sorry mate  
> thank u for reading!!! ALSO id like to thank everyone for my other work, only a genius  
> cuz ive gone past 100 kudos n 900 hits n it makes me giddy  
> thanks<3333 im still working on that full-angst stuff that ive mentioned, but i changed the pairing, there!!! will be hyunin/jeongjin not hyunmin sorry (im really sorry for seungmin fans btw but youll understand in DUE TIME)  
> anyway kudos & comments are appreciated but not mandatory!! you can just leave ill love u anyway


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